It's 3:53 am in the morning, and I just came home. These past three days, I've been accompanying a friend's friend who came to visit from Indonesia, and for three days in a row, we went to Burswood Casino.
OK, hold the thought. I DON'T GAMBLE, my friends did (and this friend's friend doesn't gamble either) . I did not understand the rules of the game, and definitely scared of losing my money into something that ain't worth it. It looks fun at first, but then when you started losing you hate the game even more.
Last night, I watched a friend gambled on the Black Jack table. At first I really didn't understand what's going on except of the fact that we need to 'collect' cards that will add up until 21. The rest was a blur to me. After I watched long enough, asked too many questions, I finally get the idea of the game. It's not just that you have to collect cards that added up to 21, you can play other things such as the Perfect Pair, where you gamble money in case if the two cards distributed earlier has the same number or picture.
As I watched my friend gambled, I couldn't help but thinking: do we gamble? not in the casino, not on some Black Jack or Roulette table.. but on love. We keep raising our stakes, take chances, putting ourselves 'out there' hoping to win the big jackpot. And yes, we do play that 'Perfect Pair' game.. when we hope (or gamble?) to find the right other-half of us.
I was reminded of one question in a so-not-important bulletin board in friendster: what is your greatest bet? It is pretty clear to me that my greatest bet of all (until today, I guess) is my heart on the crazy little thing called love. Giving (sometimes) 110% of my heart to a guy who I considered (or hallucinated) to be MY perfect pair.
It's good at first when you win little by little. But that's what casinos do rite? They let you win some at first, but then they take it all away just like that. When you're winning, you will raise your stakes even higher, thinking if you win you'll win even much more than you bet. But how if we lose? Some people stop gambling, but others are no quitter. A friend told me that he already lost $1,000 in 10 days because of gambling, he told me he had to quit or he'll go bankrupt, but sadly to say: he still plays until this very minute.
It's the same with us on love, I think. Even though we lose, why do we keep on betting and raising the stakes? But then again, just like that conversation I had with my housemate the other night: How far would you go for love? would you risk it all? It's is very dodgy, because it's all or nothing at all. As we talked and talked, we came into conclusions: she is the type of person who would go the distance for love, and as for me, I like to play it safe.
I just realized this today because of a friend's MSN nick (man, I never thought that MSN nicks could be such an inspiration :P) I've became much to good at being invisible, an expert of playing it safe -- keeping it cool.. but I swear, this is not who I wanted to be.
But no, I don't want to gamble anymore right now.. maybe later, until the heartache is over yea?
moment captured by Indra Pratama *thanks, bro :)*